DAY ONE
Henry is born.
Doctors report his first word was "mustard." His second word was "no" when offered a fork.
Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Henry put on a hot dog costume and never looked back.
Doctors report his first word was "mustard." His second word was "no" when offered a fork.
Henry is handed a fork at a family dinner. He stares at it for eleven minutes. He has not touched a fork since.
The golf cart retires. The golf cart now sells insurance. Witnesses describe Henry's pace as "can't catch up to it."
Henry presents a business plan to his family. Slide one is a picture of a hot dog. Slide two is a bigger picture of a hot dog. Standing ovation.
A tiny hot dog is placed on his head. Clouds part. A burger restaurant three miles away feels a chill.
See case file below. Ketchup was spilled. Feelings were hurt. The crocodile was slapped with a hot dog and has since moved to a different swamp.
The burger line is now a county mile. The pizza place is still on hold. Henry is serving up great.
To Henry, the Hut, and the people of this town,
I would like to apologize for The Incident. I saw a large hot dog standing in my swamp and I made a decision. It was the wrong decision. In my defense, he looked delicious. In his defense, he is a person.
When I bit down, I expected meat. I got ketchup. So much ketchup. I have been to therapy. My therapist is a heron. She says I am making progress.
Henry then slapped me with a hot dog. I deserved it. It was also, honestly, a very good hot dog.
I am now a loyal customer. I order two dogs every Tuesday. Henry hands them to me from a safe distance. I respect that.
Please do not put me on hold like the pizza place. I have suffered enough.
— Gary 🐊
Crocodile. Reformed. Hungry.